Where on Earth?
by HerRoyalMajestyTheQueen
Summary: Crash landing in the wrong pla-time?


I own nothing!

We lost our power during re-entrance, just before impact, so when the dust cleared I still couldn't see a gorram thing. At least we couldn't see the Reaver ship anymore.

I collected the rest of my crew, all of which were a little worse for the wear, suited up and exited my ship.

When the plank lowered it hit something with a clunk, stalled then continued with its descent. It was a dark, no moon, night. Silence reined for a mere moment before River dove through the doorway and ran out into the night.

I shouldn't have to say that we chased after her, but I will. We chased after her.

We chased her half way around the ship before:

Jayne cracked his knees on a gravestone.

Wash fell into an open grave and Zoe stopped to help/laugh at her husband.

Kaylee, "eeked!"

While Simon let out a suspicious squeek.

It was shaping up to be a fan – frigging- tastic night.

When we cleared the side of Serenity we saw a small battle. River fought along side a tiny blonde, squaring off against a three large grown men with what looked like strange markings on their faces.

Scratch that - Ugly markings on their faces. Ugly with a capital "U."

What I saw next was definitely of the strange. One of the men advanced on the tiny blond, I stepped forward thinking this was about to get really messy when she struck out with a, "chopstick?" (I couldn't help saying it out loud) hitting the man in the chest and her attacker – vanished…

Not ran away or fell out of sight. VANISHED. Kicking up some kind of dust cloud in the process.

"Woah, did you see that?" Wash voiced the exact same question I was about to ask. I heard the others give their affirmatives all the while watching it happen twice more.

River knocked one of the men to the ground and gave a roundhouse kick to the third assailant forcing him back to the diminutive doll. She didn't hesitate to plung her chopstick into his back then when he vanished tossing the weapon (?) to River who barely glanced at the man on the ground before stabbing him in the chest.

The chopstick having been forced into the ground by River stuck up like one of the many headstones surrounding the whole scene.

River rose from her crouched position turned to our group and said, "Yes, Vamps are fugly," before giggling and skipping over to Simon's side. Vamps?

The blonde walk towards us slowly and as I took a step forward she gasped and glanced at the women he was with. O-k that was weird. She started to edge sideways and reached behind her back slowly.

I couldn't help but reaching for the gun on my belt. I heard Zoe and Jayne shift beside me. Blocking a clear view of Simon, Kaylee and Wash.

River stepped in front of me and we all froze. "He is not a preacher." The pint sized blonde looked shocked for a moment then schooled her features.

What in the blazes of hell? The blonde squinted a moment trying to peer around River then moved her hand back to where we could see them. I relaxed my stance and let go of the gun. She relaxed considerably at that but didn't take her eyes off of any of us.

"Ok, so if your not Caleb, who the hell are you?"

"Who the-"

"He is Mal. Mal but not bad." River answered and he scowled down the back of her head.

"River you could let me talk."

"No I can't, you would be growly, like a Bear."

Affronted, I could hear Kaylee giggle and shot her a look as well. "I would not."

"So you weren't going to ask her who made her Captain?" Ok, maybe I was.

"No." I answered and she tilted her head back to give me a look then rolled her eyes.

I looked back up the blonde who had a small smirk on her face. Well at least I'm entertaining. She began a slow walk towards us keeping her eyes on all of us. As she drew nearer River stepped forward and offered her hand in greeting. The blonde took it then relaxed visibly and I realized she never really had – just sort of loosened up, like for a fight. Zoe noticed and so did Jayne.

"River, I presume?" and River responded with a nod. "Your sure he isn't Caleb?" and River reached behind her and grasped my hand pulling me forward.

I stepped up beside her and offered my hand in greeting to the tiny woman in front of me, she barely reached my chest. She shook it with a firm grip and then smiled up at me.

"I'm Buffy." Then she looked passed me to the others and I knew the exact moment she took notice of 'Serenity'. Her eyes got huge and round.

"Wait till I tell Xander."


End file.
